Regardless of our relationship status during the love month. Loving ourselves is the most beneficial relationship. Self-compassion is imperative for our well-being and can add tremendous perspective to uncomfortable feelings.

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect? (Kristen Neff)

If you are feeling less than compassionate toward yourself or having anxious thoughts – pausing and taking a moment for the Physiological Sigh and perhaps using Tara Brachs RAIN method can be a great place to start from the lens of self-compassion.

Imagine if you acknowledged any negative self-talk and anxious thoughts (rather than pushing them down).

Allowing them to be there as they are investigating what is true and what is not. An opportunity to reframe and practice self-compassion

• What perspective/mindset would I prefer right now?
• What am I assuming? What is true?
• What do I need to do to take care of myself right now?
• What tools can I lean on? (Exercise, Sleep, Nourishment, Nature, Social Connection, Challenge)
• how can I be proactive with my self-care?
• What outside support might I need right now?

No different than putting your own oxygen mask on first. We must fill our own cup up first, we cannot pour from an empty cup, once our cup is full, we have more for others.

What does self-love/compassion look like for you? Nourishing your body? Movement? Connecting with others? Snuggling in with a good book? Finishing a project? Time in nature?

Different self-care for different people, what works for one does not work for others. You are in charge – you get to decide what compassion for yourself looks like. If something that
worked before doesn’t work this time, try something else. We are continually choosing, don’t let your brain's default network choose for you, be intentional with your choices and drive the decisions that work for you.

In summary, the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important one there is. Self-love and self-compassion can look like many things; acknowledging and challenging your negative thoughts, moving our bodies or creating meaningful connections with others. You get to decide how you show yourself love and compassion, and however you choose to show it is valid. Thank you to, Kerry Marchment, for providing us with fantastic answers that remind us the value of self love and filling up our cups first. When we remember to show ourselves love and compassion, we begin to become the individuals we strive to be.