*If you have not already done so, please read pt I of this two-part series, as it discusses the why, what, when and how to’s on setting boundaries*
Have you identified boundaries you need to set in your life? Perhaps you have even started implementing them? Or maybe you’re still in the thinking and discovery phase. Wherever you are in your journey, we want to take a minute to congratulate you! This is a big step towards putting yourself first and standing up for what you deserve! Or, if you’re here because you want to effectively recognize others boundaries and know what to say (or not say), kudos to you! You are making a big step in supporting others around you.
Okay, so once boundaries have been set, it’s equally as important to learn to communicate them clearly to others. If you think about it...in order for others to respect your boundaries, they need to know what they are. There is nothing worse than someone trying to support you, but end up hindering your progress unknowingly.
Below we give some examples of some common boundaries being set during these current uncertain times. Everyone’s boundaries are different, so either use them as inspiration or you are welcome to copy them word for word. Whatever you feel is best for you!
Other boundary examples:
Example 1. “When you repeatedly ask me why I haven’t studied, it makes me feel stressed and overwhelmed."
As you can see, it is important to be as clear as possible, while maintaining respect. You have the right to your thoughts and emotions, and as do others. Try your best not to take their actions personally, as you would hope the same of others towards you.
To help reassure them, you can always add on a statement about how you would prefer they handle the situation in the future.
Let’s look at Example 1 again. You could add the following statement:
“In the future, could you perhaps only ask me once?” or
“In the future, it would mean a lot if you instead said something along the lines of: “I’ve noticed you still haven’t studied for your test. Is there something I can help you with?””
If you don’t see the conversation going somewhere positive, sometimes what’s best is to recognize these differences, and agree to disagree, and change the topic of conversation (to something more positive)!
Having a better understanding of boundaries can not only help you maintain overall well-being, but can also help you recognize boundaries being set by others, thereby supporting them more effectively.
Again, it’s about respect and understanding - reassuring them that it’s ok that they feel the way they do. Not to place judgement or imposing your own beliefs. Instead, understanding how you can support them better in the future.
Just like before, these will sound different for everyone. Some examples however could include:
We are all this together, and when we support one another, beautiful things happen! So let’s be kind to one another, and most importantly - be kind to ourselves. Respect your boundaries and be proud of yourself for standing up for what you deserve!